about me


This is the part where it’s supposed to say “Tess is all of these things.” It might be written in third person, but I don’t have enough money to hire someone to do that.  This is me writing this.

I’m 29 and I live in NYC. My passion is writing words that make people laugh or at least crack half a smile. In my free time I study at Upright Citizens Brigade, try to adhere to various low carb diets, and dream about perfectly ripe avocados. I also try to keep my laundry under control. Lately I’ve succeeded on this front but I haven’t updated this page in a few weeks, so this could be a boldface lie. And if that is the case, to you dear reader, I apologize.

I have been known to log on to Twitter (@nice_plane) and make a post or two. But in my professional life I manage social media @SeatGeek. I’ve written for some online publications, I’ve bartended, I’ve taken care of rich people’s kids, and I know my way around Photoshop and Illustrator, and can impersonate most celebrities.

Want to book me for a bar mitzvah? Let’s talk: